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NOT FOR PUBLICATION: The Vojob Incursion has hit the people hard. We need to keep their spirits up as they cope with these Nasty Little Buggers. DO not OVERPLAY. DO not REPORT ON VOJOB ACTIVITY.
Given under my hand and seal, Sir Darby of Longsoap
Vojob Wipers - A New Type of Hero
Ordinary Residents of
Botela De Cola (but extraordinary just by living in this city within the
nation of Tar Shakan), minding their own business acted in courageous fashion
when faced by Vojob Confrontation. They
united in purpose and literally wiped the Vojob right out. Many were scratched and wounded. No deaths were reported.
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Neighborhood "Social Clubs" In Contest
Social clubs of various neighborhoods in Botela de Cola (not
to be confused with rumored, non-existant street gangs, of which there are
none) engaged in a friendly competition in Vojob Wiping. After a filthy day, the East Alley Boys
claimed victory.
No Filth Here, Please
Small children, wearing clean and pressed linens, skipped
through Botela de Cola, sprinkling rose water.
That was nice.
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The King is Okay, Thank You
Guardsmen were extremely concerned when they found the King
wandering the halls, covered in filth.
Upon closer examination, it was discovered that the King was covered in
Garbage – not filth and there was not a scratch on him.
Turns out His Majesty cleverly planned on attacking the Vojobs from the rear via the Garbage Chute. Any idea that he might have tripped and fallen into the chute is considered unsupported Vojob propaganda. Public Service
If scratched by a Vojob, wash the wound, wash the hair and
Men should part hair down the middle for at least 2 weeks. Women should make 2 pigtails and were them
for exactly 9 days. Bald men should do a
complete manicure and also a scalp massage. Sponsored by Tony’s Hair and
Beyond.
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