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Botella de Cola Edition Issue 11
The management of Spit News is proud to offer regional coverage of News from the capital, Botela de Cola and breaking news from all around Tar Shakan, (when available).
Botela De Cola Welcomes Spittanites
The Royal City of Botela de Cola Spared no extravagance in greeting the Noble Envoys of the Duchy of Spittany. An official greeting committee organized by the new Mayor Pro Tem, Pro Lem, Sir Alonzo Lemfrey, arrived with an Honor Guard of Knights and Elite Men-at-Arms from Castle DeDucko, along with other dignitaries to convey Sincere Good Wishes from His Royal Highness, King Magnus5 Bagahataur the Braut.
It was considered unfortunate that the committee actually greeted a troop of minstrels, who had arrived to participate in the upcoming tourney. The Ducal Envoy arrived shortly thereafter, and un-greeted, headed to a nearby tavern.
Several hours later, the mistake was discovered and the very happily soused Envoys made silly noises and outrageous gestures when the committee tracked them down. Sir Leon was heard to remark, "Smy kina peep-el" before passing out.
Botela De Cola Embraces Phlegm
The next day, Noble Envoys of the County of Phlegm arrived to Great Pomp and Circumstance. The official greeting committee made no mistakes in identifying the distinguished guests. Sir Kende was heard to remark,"Yes, Yes, We are all so very happy to be here. Can you please stop talking and show us to our quarters?" A group of City Watchmen appeared as one quarter is five nickels, quite a lot of lot. They were disappointed when none were found.
Auspicious Fifth Day Arrival
Royal Envoys from the Continental King arrived on the fifth day of the arrivals. Their Entourage put on an impressive show including jugglers, fire-eaters, synchronized horse trotting and ventriloquists. Hard pressed by this high standard and precedent, Sir Sheply of Castle DeDucko put his hand under his armpit and made various sounds. A few of the visitors raised their eyebrows, possibly impressed. They proceeded to the Palace with no incidents.
Doomsayers of the Glarkian Prophecy Strike
Doomsayers of the Glarkian Prophecy were busy delivering their portents of Doom to all of the new arrivals. Many of the new visitors, asked if it would be okay to hunt the large yellow headed gobblers. The question has been referred to the Office of the Mayer, Pro Tem, Pro Lem, Doomsayer Ad Hoc Commitee.
Niles appears, Speaks, Threatens to Return
A man appeared in a market square dressed in sack-cloth and spake thusly, “I am the Niles. I am sorely vexed within my spirit. I am vexed by sores throughout my body. I am sore! For my comfort, I look to Mundo philosophers for wisdom, guidance and balm. Think upon these most famous words and twist them within your brain as they twist within mine, every minute of every day. Taste the wisdom, drink of enlightenment, hear truth and see the light. ‘I've geen sitting here for days! Start the damn joust before I piss myself!" Take heed Tar Shakanians, though spoken by Robert Baratheon in a 'fictional' time on a related but believed to be 'fictional' subject and only related to the Mundo in a shared enthusiasm in common elements that transcend 'fictionalism'. These Words Apply to Thee Now! Getist this show on the road, let's get a move on, anytime today would be good. Failure to act soon may cause its wet smelly mark to streak down thy trousers. Let's get going before we all must go! I am the Niles. I shall return.” Many people were impressed and clapped their hands. Some people needed to go and left for the loo.