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Botella de Cola Edition
The management of Spit News is proud to offer regional coverage of News from the capital, Botela de Cola and breaking news from all around Tar Shakan, (when available).
Thrown Things, Conflict and Loose Change
Five groups of street people, traveling down five different thoroughfares converged unexpectedly upon a market square intersections. Taunts, threats and verbal abuse was freely thrown upon all the participants. This escalated into thrown vegatables, rocks and punches. The city watch strategically waited until the participants had beaten themselves silly before decending on the chaos. Many were seen picking up loose change dropped in the melee.
Herr Rictor Leaves in a Fury
A mysterious and slightly creepy man, known only as Herr Rictor entered the Inn of High Hopes seeking lodging for himself and his entourage. After only a few minutes purveying the offerings of the Inn, Herr Rictor left in a fury stating that he had never seen such a filthy, unorganized mess before. The clerk on duty wondered aloud, “Before what?”
Stolen Food? Really?
Throughout the city, the city watch has found in various locations, people, bound and hanging from their ankles with signs saying,” I stole food from starving children. Delivered to justice by the Maingan Sluedd.” A watchman was heard to ask, “Why would anyone steal food, which is delivered for free by the Lords of Fulcrum?” When asked about the identity or purpose of the Maingan Sluedd, he replied, “I can’t even pronounce those words.”
Pugilistic Wonder, Wonders Pugilists
A young child, estimated to be about 12 years old, planted himself in the middle of a street and challenged all comers to a wrestling and pugilistic contest. Many area toughs, jd’s and tom-girls eagerly accepted the challenge. This pugilistic marvel thoroughly trounced them all. When a city watchman made to intervene, the youth promptly pummeled the man to the ground. A passing barber administered prompt first aid and a quick mustache trim to stabilize the watchman’s condition. Of the youth, there was no sign.
Spiders and Rats Found
A group of vigilantes scoured the city with pitchforks and torches, looking for suspected People of the Tail. It was quickly realized that not a hide nor tail could be found in in the entire city. But many spiders and rats were located.
Hooded Raiders Fix Forks
A sidewalk café was raided by hooded men, who confronted patrons and forcibly rearranged the table settings. One hooded raider said, “The fork is put on the left side of the plate. The left side. There is a right way to do things and a wrong way to do things. We of Obbay Orsolong will teach you all the right way to do things….or else.” The group quickly vanished into the gaping crowd of spectators. The city watch came to investigate but when no loose change was discovered on the ground, they quickly left.
Herr Rictor Housing Project A Go
The mysterious and slightly creepy man, known only as Herr Rictor, took up residence in an abandoned building. His entourage quickly pulled high quality carpenter tools and began to renovate the dilapidated structure. A spokesperson for Herr Rictor released a statement, “Herr Rictor is extremely excited to be living in the lovely city of Botela de Cola. Herr Rictor hopes within this city to perfect his philosophy of planning followed by focused activity for the betterment of all.”
Niles appears, Speaks, Threatens to Return
A man appeared in a market square dressed in sack-cloth and spake thusly, “I am the Niles. I am sorely vexed within my spirit. I am vexed by sores throughout my body. I am sore! For my comfort, I look to Mundo philosophers for wisdom, guidance and balm. Think upon these most famous words and twist them within your brain as they twist within mine, every minute of every day. Taste the wisdom, drink of enlightenment, hear truth and see the light. ‘This is no time for ease and comfort. It is time to dare and endure.’ Take heed Tar Shakanians, though spoken by Winston Churchill in Mundo times on Mundo matters, these words apply to thee now! In this Tar Shakanian Time and Tar Shakanian Matters! I am the Niles. I shall return.” Many people were impressed and clapped their hands.