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Botella de Cola Edition 10
The management of Spit News is proud to offer regional coverage of News from the capital, Botela de Cola and breaking news from all around Tar Shakan, (when available).
Major Vojob Incursions Throughout the City - Just What Is This Crap?
Large Battle at the Palace of Tortuga - Vojobs were decisively wiped by a united King's and Queen's Guard. The Market Square, Inn of High Hopes, City Hall and the Castle were successfully defended by Guardsmen, Town Militia, Knights and resident volunteers. It was described by some as a crappy experience.
Many other buildings were smeared with filth. Members of Obbay Orsolong created press gangs to man bucket lines for the washing and cleaning of exterior buildings. When the Watch arrived to investigate, they were pressed into service too. A spokesman said," We do not live in filth. We are not pigs. We will stay clean and our town will stay clean regardless of whose fault this was." Herr Rictor, a mysterious and slightly creepy man promptly cleaned his compound and joined his household to that of the Obbay Orsolongers to assist.
Doomsayers of the Glarkian Prophecies appeared and said," We lack confidence that your bucket lines and cleaning methods are suitable to sustain themselves for a meaningful period of time." Members of the Obbay Orsolong chased them from the area.
Three men were found beaten and hanging from their feet with a parchment posted nearby. "These Men were found to have created "fake" Bills from the Vojobs hoping to scam local inhabitants into paying extortion to them. We of the Maingan Sluedd will not tolerate such trespasses against Our Neighbors. We have cleansed their hideout with fire, as a warning to all bad guys."
Ricardo the Waver reported arson to the Watch as his shop burned to the ground. A bucket brigade successfully curtailed the blaze. Inspector Claus of the Watch had this to say," We believe this to be a case of mistaken address. Ricardo the Weaver lives at North Side on High Ave. We think that the real target was supposed to be on the South Side on Low Blvd which is the address on the "fake" bills that have been in circulation since the Vojob incursions.
A short statement was released by the Maingan Sluedd. It said, " OOOPS."
Many other buildings were smeared with filth. Members of Obbay Orsolong created press gangs to man bucket lines for the washing and cleaning of exterior buildings. When the Watch arrived to investigate, they were pressed into service too. A spokesman said," We do not live in filth. We are not pigs. We will stay clean and our town will stay clean regardless of whose fault this was." Herr Rictor, a mysterious and slightly creepy man promptly cleaned his compound and joined his household to that of the Obbay Orsolongers to assist.
Doomsayers of the Glarkian Prophecies appeared and said," We lack confidence that your bucket lines and cleaning methods are suitable to sustain themselves for a meaningful period of time." Members of the Obbay Orsolong chased them from the area.
Three men were found beaten and hanging from their feet with a parchment posted nearby. "These Men were found to have created "fake" Bills from the Vojobs hoping to scam local inhabitants into paying extortion to them. We of the Maingan Sluedd will not tolerate such trespasses against Our Neighbors. We have cleansed their hideout with fire, as a warning to all bad guys."
Ricardo the Waver reported arson to the Watch as his shop burned to the ground. A bucket brigade successfully curtailed the blaze. Inspector Claus of the Watch had this to say," We believe this to be a case of mistaken address. Ricardo the Weaver lives at North Side on High Ave. We think that the real target was supposed to be on the South Side on Low Blvd which is the address on the "fake" bills that have been in circulation since the Vojob incursions.
A short statement was released by the Maingan Sluedd. It said, " OOOPS."
PUBLIC SERVICE ADVISORY
If scratched by a Vojob, wash the wound. Wash hands and immediately Floss, Brush and Rinse. Toothless people should rinse and rest for 1 hour with cucumber slices on their eyes. Info supplied by Danny's Teeth Tune-up and Spa.
Niles appears, Speaks, Threatens to Return Again.
A man appeared in a market square dressed in sack-cloth and spake thusly, “I am the Niles. I am sorely vexed within my spirit. I am vexed by sores throughout my body. I am sore! For my comfort, I look to Mundo philosophers for wisdom, guidance and balm. Think upon these most famous words and twist them within your brain as they twist within mine, every minute of every day. Taste the wisdom, drink of enlightenment, hear truth and see the light. ‘Things have never been more like the way they are today in history.' Take heed Tar Shakanians, though spoken by President Dwight D Eisenhower in Mundo times on Mundo matters, these words apply to thee now! In this Tar Shakanian Time and Tar Shakanian Matters! I am the Niles. I shall return.” Many people were impressed and clapped their hands.